Parenting Monitor

Thursday, March 08, 2007

A Parenting Curriculum is a Phone Call Away

Most often than not, parents find their children a handful both emotionally and physically. They love their children and want to give them the best they can – and always feel that they could have done better if they found/ had better guidance. Parents mostly feel lost when it comes to establish a mutually respectful relationship which can alternate love and respect effortlessly.

Where Do You Look for Parenting Guidelines?

Usually, when you are stuck in your day-to-day parenting chores, you tend to ask your parents – because in your mind they would know best. Similarly, you should understand that for a child, the parent is the ultimate authority often for life – though this would not be visible at the first glance.

It would be great if there was a parenting curriculum, which could act as a standard for all parents. Since this is not there, it is left on the intelligence of the parents to work out the best solutions when they have a problem with parenting; the internet is priceless for this purpose. One can search and find parenting forums, chat lines, websites, books and even hotlines for experts which can provide much better guidance than any parenting curriculum would have ever done.

Your Own Parents

The best parenting guidelines would always be your gut feeling and the advice of your mother. Whenever you feel that you are stuck, all you need to do is to get in touch with your mother and ask her how she would have handled it. Unfortunately, most of us lose emotional touch with your parents after we marry and settle down to raise our own family. We often forget that both the 'school' and the 'parenting curriculum' can be found in our own parents!

There are a lot of things that experience hands down over to parents along the years; and often this experience becomes a private parenting curriculum, which is bundled tightly in the mind's attic waiting to be unfolded and used at the appropriate time. Hence, you will never find a better parenting curriculum or guidance than that your own parents collected over the years to hand over to you. This is why the relationship between parents and their children and that of children and their grandparents is so meaningful.

Of course, for those who cannot reach out to their parents, there are millions of websites which can act as surrogate parents in difficult times. Fortunately, the internet can be used at any time of night and day with excellent results. It is very rare that you search something on the internet and you come up empty-handed – parenting help included.

For more information on curriculum parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Understanding the Baumrind Dimensions of Parenting

Parenting is a very complex task that needs the total involvement of the people concerned. The Baumrind dimensions of parenting explain that parenting involves different styles that must be integrated to help the child develop in all aspects. According to the Baumrind dimensions of parenting, there are at least three parenting styles that if taken individually, would tend to produce different results in the child.

These three parenting styles identified under the Baumrind dimensions of parenting are as follows: authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting and uninvolved parenting. To get a better picture of the Baumrind dimensions of parenting, let us discuss the parenting styles one by one.

Authoritarian Parenting

According the Baumrind dimensions of parenting, authoritarian parenting is demanding and directive but it is not responsive to the needs of the child. The main focus of the authoritarian parents is on obedience. The parents consider they have a higher status than their children; they tend to exercise authority over their children and expect them to follow without any questions. Since they are the decision-makers in the family, the parents expect their children to follow their direction without the need of any explanations. As a result, the children become blind followers who never think for themselves. Such an attitude of simply going with the flow can stunt the mental and emotional development of the child.

Authoritative Parenting

Unlike the authoritarian parenting style, the authoritative parenting style is demanding yet responsive. According to experts, this type of parenting style is more desirable. Under the Baumrind dimensions of parenting, this parenting style is defined as something that is more supportive rather than punitive. This style of parenting encourages the child to think for him or herself and be more independent.

Uninvolved Parenting

According to the Baumrind dimension of parenting, this is the least desirable of all the parenting style. In uninvolved parenting style, the parents are neither demanding nor responsive. Such indifference on the part of the parents can be very detrimental to the development of the child.

It is hard to pick one style and stick with it as parenting is a very natural phenomenon. However, parents should read about all the different kinds of parenting and see which one reflects them the best? They should analyze whether what they are doing is hurting or helping their child and how they can improve. There is no right or wrong answer in parenting; it comes from your heart and not from textbooks.

For more information on baumrind dimensions of parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

Monday, March 05, 2007

Bad Parenting: How Parenting Styles Influence a Child's Character

At an early age, your child learns by imitating the things that he or she sees, hears or feels. According to studies, a child can not distinguish what is right from wrong until he or she reaches the age of seven years old. Until he or she reaches the age of reason, the child simply imitates everything that he or she sees or hears around. If you set bad examples to your child, he or she is most likely to imitate you. For instance, if you have bad parenting habits and you shout at your child, you child will believe that shouting is ok and would tend to follow your examples.

Helping Yourself Out of Bad Parenting Habits

According to studies, bad parenting habits are not only detrimental to the child but also to the parent. You may not be aware of it but bad parenting habits such as spanking or shouting at the child is very stressful on the part of the parent and the child. Studies show that when a parent is very angry, he or she becomes stressed. Since stress could often lead to many types of diseases such as hypertension, depression, insomnia among others, parents who can not control themselves when dealing with their children often suffer both physically and emotionally.

To help yourself get rid of bad parenting habits, you should learn to relax and be more tolerant towards your child. You must understand that children can be really a handful and it would not do you any good if you take everything so seriously. As long as your child is not harming himself or herself, you can at times just let him or her be. Give your child some room to enjoy what he or she is doing.

Another way to help you keep you temper in check and overcome your bad parenting habits is to plan out your day well. People are usually ill tempered when they feel harassed and out of control. In most cases, even people who do not have bad parenting habits would tend to snap at their kids when they are stressed out. By planning your day well you can avoid a lot of stress. Also, when you are planning your day, you should make sure that you organize some activities to keep your child occupied while you go about your daily routine.

For more information on ways to avoid bad parenting habits, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

Sunday, March 04, 2007

Authoritative Parenting: Raising Your Child in a Supportive Home

According to experts, different styles in parenting often times generate different results. Of the many different parenting styles identified by experts, the authoritative parenting style is considered as one of the most appropriate. The authoritative approach creates a demanding yet supporting environment. Demanding in the sense that the authoritative parenting style creates rules but unlike the authoritarian parenting system where the children cannot question the rules, the authoritative parenting style is interactive.

Experts believe that children thrive better when they are given rules to abide by. Having rules is important for children because these rules would give them a sense of security. Under the authoritative parenting style, the parents and the child often makes the rules together and agree to abide by the rules that they have created. Unlike in authoritarian parenting where the parents would like to stay over and above the rules, the authoritative parenting style promotes healthy interaction between parents and children thus creating a more supportive and cooperative atmosphere.

Promoting Authoritative Parenting in the Home

Children always look up to their parents for guidance; thus parents will always have some degree of authority over their children. When promoting the authoritative parenting style in your home, you should always let your kids know that you are the leader and that there are things that you are more knowledgeable about than your children. Since authoritative parenting is based on the principles of trust, mutual support and cooperation, your child must know that you can be relied upon to deliver what you promised. If your child knows that you are serious and that you can be relied on to do what you said you would do, he or she is more likely to cooperate. Furthermore, it is always good to let the child know where he or she is standing.

When promoting authoritative parenting in the home, you must learn to be very consistent. You are your spouse should see to it that your decisions are not contradictory because this can confuse the child. If one spouse says no, the other should not say yes otherwise, the balance of power in the house will be disrupted and the child becomes disoriented. In cases where you do not agree with the decision of your partner or your spouse, you should not show your disagreement in front of the child. You and your spouse should talk things out in private and come up with a unified stand on issues involving your child.

For more information on authoritative parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com