Parenting Monitor

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Authoritarian Parenting: Are You Keeping Your Kids on a Leash?

A lot of people believe that authoritarian parenting is the best ways to keep their children in check. According to people who subscribe to the idea of authoritarian parenting, if their children are afraid of their parents, they will tend to behave better than when the kids do not fear anybody. Yet, does fear really make kids better behaved?

Contrary to the belief of those who believe in authoritarian parenting, fear does not necessarily make children behave better. According to experts, although children would appear to be outwardly docile when their parents are around, they tend to behave badly as soon as their parents are not around. Because children who are raised in an authoritarian household are repressed they often vent out their extra energies once they get away from your sphere of control. Studies show that many children who are raised in a very authoritarian household are often more out control than those children who come from a more relaxed household.

According to experts, children who come from a more relaxed and democratic household are often better adjusted and independent. Studies show that kids who are products of authoritarian parenting are less likely to be more independent and assertive as compared to their peers. Since most children who are products of authoritarian parenting often just follow their parents without question, their sense of independence is not well developed. Their ability to think for themselves is often times impaired. This only goes to show that keeping your kids on a leash is not really a good idea.

Dealing with Your Kids

Children can be difficult to handle at times. Since children are very complex human beings, they should be handled with great care. There may be times when a parent would need to assert his or her authority as a parent but authoritarian parenting should not be made the rule. There is always a time for everything so you must be more flexible when handing your child. You must understand that children who are already past the age of seven years already understand what is right or wrong. If your child thinks that what you are doing is wrong; they become upset. Once your child is upset, he or she would become sullen and rebellious.

To help you deal with your child, you should learn to talk to your child more often. Finding out how your child feels about things would help you find a way to deal with him or her. Having open communication with your child is therefore the best policy.

For more information on authoritarian parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Attachment Parenting - A Special Way of Caring

Attachment parenting refers to a way of caring for infants which aims to provide the best for the baby as well as the parent. Early bonding between baby and parent leads to early attachment, as the weeks and months immediately following birth are a sensitive time when the parent naturally wishes to be close to the baby.

Once a close attachment is formed after birth, a natural and biological attachment promotes the behavior of the infant as well as the intuitive and biological caregiving qualities of the parent. They come together and result in lifelong bonding between parent and child.

A Few Aspects of Attachment Parenting

Another aspect of attachment parenting is breastfeeding; this helps the mother take cues from the baby and be able to recognize its body language, which is a prelude to getting to know the baby better. Breast milk is full of unique brain-building nutrients for which no man-made substitutes are available, and breastfeeding leads to better chemistry between mother and baby.

Attachment parenting also involves holding the baby in your arms which often leads to less fuss on the part of the infant as the baby stays in a state of quiet alertness. This is conducive to its learning more about the environment in which it lives. Babywearing causes the sensibility of the mother to improve and due to the fact that the baby is close to the mother, it helps in forming a better understanding as well as more familiarity with the infant.

At night, it is recommended to get the sleeping arrangement sorted out because co-sleeping promotes attachment parenting as well adds a nighttime touch that enables the mother to reconnect with the infant at night. Also, the baby is most scared at night and sleeping close to it within nursing distance greatly reduces nighttime separation anxiety and promotes restful sleep for the infant and also keeps the infant in a fearless state.

Responding with a great deal of sensitivity to the baby’s cry helps build trust and calms and reassures the baby that the mother is responsive to its needs. It tells the baby and the parents that slowly but surely, they will also come to learn to trust in their own ability to adequately meet their new found needs. With more parent-child communication, attachment parenting becomes more effective, especially as studies show that little babies cry to communicate, and not to manipulate.

Attachment parenting also teaches the mother to be discerning of the advice, especially those that are rigid as well as examples of extreme parenting styles. Such behavior is closer to convenience parenting and may cause short term gains, but in the long run, is more of a loss and not a wise investment to make. Finally, attachment parenting does not mean that the parent neglects his or her own needs as well as that of the marriage. A balance needs to be struck and it is essential for the parent to know when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’ to the child as well as being wise enough to say ‘yes’ to oneself, when in need of help.

For more information on attachment parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com