Parenting Monitor

2007-04-29T07:30:00.000-07:00

The Gift of Foster Parenting

There are some people who have been given a gift to help children who otherwise might fall through the cracks - foster parenting is that gift. Many times on the evening news shows there may be a story about a foster parent that abused their foster kids. These things are true and there are some evil people in the world. For every bad foster parent there are hundreds that do a great job taking care of children.

Foster parenting can be an opportunity for people to give back to their community. Along with that, there is a real challenge to make a kids life more normal with goals and dreams and the ability for him to become whatever he aspires to be. Foster parenting should be acknowledged as one of those things that change the world for the better. Many adults who grew up in foster parenting households will say that it changed their whole life. Someone that took the time to care and raise a child that they didn't even know and wouldn't know unless they chose to meet the kid. If there is someone in your community that is involved foster parenting, take some time to greet them and let them know that they are appreciated.

Problems That Some Foster Kids May Face

When a child has been turned over to a foster parent, many will come with emotional baggage that will need to be worked on. For some, just being shipped to multiple homes can make them feel unwanted and unloved. A child in this condition needs full time support with a family that will love them and make them feel needed. It's amazing to see a family dedicated to foster parenting. Turning a child's life around for the better is one of the greatest gifts a family can make happen. Because life today is moving at the speed of light, most people would never take the hard job of working with foster children with emotional needs.

Another problem that foster kids may bring into a new home is lying. If a child is constantly being moved into new homes, the child will lie as a way to seek approval without sharing things that are negative. They want so desperately to be loved that lying becomes a tool to succeed. Foster parenting is not a job that's done to make money; if the parents are doing the best job that they can, the money won't cover the monthly expenses. It has to be done for bigger and better reasons for it to be worthwhile.

For more information on foster parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

2007-04-21T08:26:00.000-07:00

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and Parenting- Before and After the Baby

Responsibility is a very important word in parenting. Parents should not just decide, 'Let's have a baby' and ignore all other peripherals. When you decide to have a baby, you should realize that you are choosing to be responsible for another life and hence, everything you do would reflect upon it.

The fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting is a very well debated topic. Everyone knows the terrible impact alcohol and tobacco smoke can have on an unborn child. Here are a few very important aspects of fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting.

This article is focusing on the mother because it is the female who carries the baby in her womb and the fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting aspects directly concern her. However men too, need to be equally responsible with drinking and smoking in order to provide as supportive an ambiance to the would-be mother as possible.

If you are a would-be mother who is addicted to alcohol, you need to consider the following steps at once:

1. Inform and consult a doctor about what you need to do to ensure that the baby is not affected by the FAS.

2. Enroll yourself in Alcoholics Anonymous and solicit the group's help and support in shaking off the habit.

3. Enroll in a detoxification center and get rid of the habit with the help of medical supervision and treatment. Make sure they know you are pregnant; some anti-withdrawal medicines can harm the baby.

4. Surround yourself with photographs of healthy and beautiful babies, so it will encourage you to stay away from the alcohol for the sake of the tiny life that is forming inside your womb.

5. Plan many things for the baby. For example, have shopping sprees, theme parties, baby showers, etc all the time so it will keep you motivated to stay off alcohol.

6. Read many books on fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting and understand the dangers of alcohol and your responsibility as a parent well.

7. Keep in mind that you do not have the right to play with the life of another human being – and if you feel that alcohol will still remain your first love – do not have a baby. It is not only the impact of the fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting that is crucial, it is also how you will take care of the baby after it is born, what type of home you will be able to offer him/her and so on. This is a huge commitment and you should be able to fulfill it.

For more information on fetal alcohol syndrome and parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

2007-04-14T07:40:00.000-07:00

Effective Parenting Will Be a Mutually Rewarding Experience

Bringing up children can often be one of the most trying times a parent experiences for which they may not always be well prepared for. Tackling child-rearing requires having an effective parenting plan that will help parents get greater fulfillment from bringing up their children.

A Few Essentials of Effective Parenting

The first effective parenting plan a parent can make use of is to nurture the self esteem of the child. Often this development of self esteem begins when the child is still a baby when they see themselves as a reflection of their parent's image. They imbue the parent's tone of voice, body language as well as studiously copying and memorizing every expression and act of the parents.

The second effective parenting act that should be performed is to catch the child being good. Very often, parents react negatively to their children who they tend to criticize more often than praise. Catching the child doing something right and encouraging such acts and behavior will encourage the child to lean towards good behavior, and being generous by rewarding the child will also help develop better behavior in the child.

Limits

Effective parenting should also ensure that there are limits set and these should be enforced consistently with regard to disciplining the child. The aim of disciplining the child is to help him choose acceptable behavior and learn self-control. House rules, once established, will help the child understand the expectations of the parents and also develop self-control – all attributes that are welcome in a child's character.

Time

Another method of effective parenting requires taking time to give to the child. Getting up a bit earlier in the morning to have breakfast with the child or taking a walk with the child after dinner instead of washing the dishes will result in a mutually rewarding experience for both child and parent.

Role Model

It is also necessary for a parent to be a good role model for the child. This is an important factor in effective parenting because the child will take his or her cues from the actions and behavior of the parent. The parents should model the traits that they wish to cultivate in the child such as respect, friendliness, honesty, tolerance and kindness

Other important factors that play an important role in developing the child in a positive manner and which should be part of effective parenting include making communication a priority and being flexible. Parents should also be willing to adjust parenting styles showing that their love is unconditional and being aware of their own needs and limitations and acting accordingly.

For more information on effective parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

2007-04-07T09:05:00.000-07:00

Studying Dimensions of Parenting Styles Aids in Child Development

How parents influence the development of social and instrumental competence of their children is the subject of study of many developmental psychologists who have been doing so since the 1920s. Parenting style is one of the most robust approaches in this respect, and it is well known that parenting can be quite complicated in that it includes specific behaviors that can individually as well as collectively influence child outcomes.

Capture Normal Variations in the Attempts Made to Control Children

The dimensions of parenting style need to be differentiated, and any construct of parenting styles should be able to capture normal variations in the attempts made by parents to control as well as socialize their children. There are two dimension of parenting behavior that pertains to whether the parents are strict or controlling or permissive in which a great deal of autonomy is allowed, or whether the parents are responsive as well as accepting or rejecting and unresponsive.

Depending on the dimensions of parenting styles, they can be classified as authoritarian, authoritative, or permissive, and the last mentioned dimension is further categorized as permissive neglectful and permissive indulgent. Each of these dimensions of parenting styles gives rise to naturally occurring patterns such as parental values, practices and behaviors.

There is also another dimension of parenting style that is often overlooked, which is that of psychological control. This means an attempt to control that intrude into the psychological and emotional development of the offspring via parenting practices such as guilt induction, taking away of love or shaming the child.

The psychological dimension of parenting styles is a key difference between the authoritarian and authoritative parenting style because both these parenting behaviors place high demands on the child, and there is a corresponding expectation that the child will behave appropriately and obey parents and the rules they enforce. The dimensions of parenting style are warmth or acceptance or responsiveness, firmness or demandingness or behavioral control, and restrictiveness or psychological control, and four general sets of child adjustment indicators are studied in relation to each dimension of parenting style that include psychosocial development, school achievement, internalized distress and problem behavior.

According to studies conducted on different dimensions of parenting styles, it has been found that children as well as adolescents generally respond well when the parents are warm, firm as well as non-restrictive. So, the different dimensions of parental styles play a crucial role in determining how the child fares because often child development is governed by high levels of one particular type of control as well as related psychological factors.

For more information on dimensions of parenting styles, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

2007-03-08T08:02:00.000-08:00

A Parenting Curriculum is a Phone Call Away

Most often than not, parents find their children a handful both emotionally and physically. They love their children and want to give them the best they can – and always feel that they could have done better if they found/ had better guidance. Parents mostly feel lost when it comes to establish a mutually respectful relationship which can alternate love and respect effortlessly.

Where Do You Look for Parenting Guidelines?

Usually, when you are stuck in your day-to-day parenting chores, you tend to ask your parents – because in your mind they would know best. Similarly, you should understand that for a child, the parent is the ultimate authority often for life – though this would not be visible at the first glance.

It would be great if there was a parenting curriculum, which could act as a standard for all parents. Since this is not there, it is left on the intelligence of the parents to work out the best solutions when they have a problem with parenting; the internet is priceless for this purpose. One can search and find parenting forums, chat lines, websites, books and even hotlines for experts which can provide much better guidance than any parenting curriculum would have ever done.

Your Own Parents

The best parenting guidelines would always be your gut feeling and the advice of your mother. Whenever you feel that you are stuck, all you need to do is to get in touch with your mother and ask her how she would have handled it. Unfortunately, most of us lose emotional touch with your parents after we marry and settle down to raise our own family. We often forget that both the 'school' and the 'parenting curriculum' can be found in our own parents!

There are a lot of things that experience hands down over to parents along the years; and often this experience becomes a private parenting curriculum, which is bundled tightly in the mind's attic waiting to be unfolded and used at the appropriate time. Hence, you will never find a better parenting curriculum or guidance than that your own parents collected over the years to hand over to you. This is why the relationship between parents and their children and that of children and their grandparents is so meaningful.

Of course, for those who cannot reach out to their parents, there are millions of websites which can act as surrogate parents in difficult times. Fortunately, the internet can be used at any time of night and day with excellent results. It is very rare that you search something on the internet and you come up empty-handed – parenting help included.

For more information on curriculum parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

2007-03-06T09:01:00.000-08:00

Understanding the Baumrind Dimensions of Parenting

Parenting is a very complex task that needs the total involvement of the people concerned. The Baumrind dimensions of parenting explain that parenting involves different styles that must be integrated to help the child develop in all aspects. According to the Baumrind dimensions of parenting, there are at least three parenting styles that if taken individually, would tend to produce different results in the child.

These three parenting styles identified under the Baumrind dimensions of parenting are as follows: authoritarian parenting, authoritative parenting and uninvolved parenting. To get a better picture of the Baumrind dimensions of parenting, let us discuss the parenting styles one by one.

Authoritarian Parenting

According the Baumrind dimensions of parenting, authoritarian parenting is demanding and directive but it is not responsive to the needs of the child. The main focus of the authoritarian parents is on obedience. The parents consider they have a higher status than their children; they tend to exercise authority over their children and expect them to follow without any questions. Since they are the decision-makers in the family, the parents expect their children to follow their direction without the need of any explanations. As a result, the children become blind followers who never think for themselves. Such an attitude of simply going with the flow can stunt the mental and emotional development of the child.

Authoritative Parenting

Unlike the authoritarian parenting style, the authoritative parenting style is demanding yet responsive. According to experts, this type of parenting style is more desirable. Under the Baumrind dimensions of parenting, this parenting style is defined as something that is more supportive rather than punitive. This style of parenting encourages the child to think for him or herself and be more independent.

Uninvolved Parenting

According to the Baumrind dimension of parenting, this is the least desirable of all the parenting style. In uninvolved parenting style, the parents are neither demanding nor responsive. Such indifference on the part of the parents can be very detrimental to the development of the child.

It is hard to pick one style and stick with it as parenting is a very natural phenomenon. However, parents should read about all the different kinds of parenting and see which one reflects them the best? They should analyze whether what they are doing is hurting or helping their child and how they can improve. There is no right or wrong answer in parenting; it comes from your heart and not from textbooks.

For more information on baumrind dimensions of parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

2007-03-05T07:43:00.000-08:00

Bad Parenting: How Parenting Styles Influence a Child's Character

At an early age, your child learns by imitating the things that he or she sees, hears or feels. According to studies, a child can not distinguish what is right from wrong until he or she reaches the age of seven years old. Until he or she reaches the age of reason, the child simply imitates everything that he or she sees or hears around. If you set bad examples to your child, he or she is most likely to imitate you. For instance, if you have bad parenting habits and you shout at your child, you child will believe that shouting is ok and would tend to follow your examples.

Helping Yourself Out of Bad Parenting Habits

According to studies, bad parenting habits are not only detrimental to the child but also to the parent. You may not be aware of it but bad parenting habits such as spanking or shouting at the child is very stressful on the part of the parent and the child. Studies show that when a parent is very angry, he or she becomes stressed. Since stress could often lead to many types of diseases such as hypertension, depression, insomnia among others, parents who can not control themselves when dealing with their children often suffer both physically and emotionally.

To help yourself get rid of bad parenting habits, you should learn to relax and be more tolerant towards your child. You must understand that children can be really a handful and it would not do you any good if you take everything so seriously. As long as your child is not harming himself or herself, you can at times just let him or her be. Give your child some room to enjoy what he or she is doing.

Another way to help you keep you temper in check and overcome your bad parenting habits is to plan out your day well. People are usually ill tempered when they feel harassed and out of control. In most cases, even people who do not have bad parenting habits would tend to snap at their kids when they are stressed out. By planning your day well you can avoid a lot of stress. Also, when you are planning your day, you should make sure that you organize some activities to keep your child occupied while you go about your daily routine.

For more information on ways to avoid bad parenting habits, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

2007-03-04T00:08:00.000-08:00

Authoritative Parenting: Raising Your Child in a Supportive Home

According to experts, different styles in parenting often times generate different results. Of the many different parenting styles identified by experts, the authoritative parenting style is considered as one of the most appropriate. The authoritative approach creates a demanding yet supporting environment. Demanding in the sense that the authoritative parenting style creates rules but unlike the authoritarian parenting system where the children cannot question the rules, the authoritative parenting style is interactive.

Experts believe that children thrive better when they are given rules to abide by. Having rules is important for children because these rules would give them a sense of security. Under the authoritative parenting style, the parents and the child often makes the rules together and agree to abide by the rules that they have created. Unlike in authoritarian parenting where the parents would like to stay over and above the rules, the authoritative parenting style promotes healthy interaction between parents and children thus creating a more supportive and cooperative atmosphere.

Promoting Authoritative Parenting in the Home

Children always look up to their parents for guidance; thus parents will always have some degree of authority over their children. When promoting the authoritative parenting style in your home, you should always let your kids know that you are the leader and that there are things that you are more knowledgeable about than your children. Since authoritative parenting is based on the principles of trust, mutual support and cooperation, your child must know that you can be relied upon to deliver what you promised. If your child knows that you are serious and that you can be relied on to do what you said you would do, he or she is more likely to cooperate. Furthermore, it is always good to let the child know where he or she is standing.

When promoting authoritative parenting in the home, you must learn to be very consistent. You are your spouse should see to it that your decisions are not contradictory because this can confuse the child. If one spouse says no, the other should not say yes otherwise, the balance of power in the house will be disrupted and the child becomes disoriented. In cases where you do not agree with the decision of your partner or your spouse, you should not show your disagreement in front of the child. You and your spouse should talk things out in private and come up with a unified stand on issues involving your child.

For more information on authoritative parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

2007-02-27T17:28:00.000-08:00

Authoritarian Parenting: Are You Keeping Your Kids on a Leash?

A lot of people believe that authoritarian parenting is the best ways to keep their children in check. According to people who subscribe to the idea of authoritarian parenting, if their children are afraid of their parents, they will tend to behave better than when the kids do not fear anybody. Yet, does fear really make kids better behaved?

Contrary to the belief of those who believe in authoritarian parenting, fear does not necessarily make children behave better. According to experts, although children would appear to be outwardly docile when their parents are around, they tend to behave badly as soon as their parents are not around. Because children who are raised in an authoritarian household are repressed they often vent out their extra energies once they get away from your sphere of control. Studies show that many children who are raised in a very authoritarian household are often more out control than those children who come from a more relaxed household.

According to experts, children who come from a more relaxed and democratic household are often better adjusted and independent. Studies show that kids who are products of authoritarian parenting are less likely to be more independent and assertive as compared to their peers. Since most children who are products of authoritarian parenting often just follow their parents without question, their sense of independence is not well developed. Their ability to think for themselves is often times impaired. This only goes to show that keeping your kids on a leash is not really a good idea.

Dealing with Your Kids

Children can be difficult to handle at times. Since children are very complex human beings, they should be handled with great care. There may be times when a parent would need to assert his or her authority as a parent but authoritarian parenting should not be made the rule. There is always a time for everything so you must be more flexible when handing your child. You must understand that children who are already past the age of seven years already understand what is right or wrong. If your child thinks that what you are doing is wrong; they become upset. Once your child is upset, he or she would become sullen and rebellious.

To help you deal with your child, you should learn to talk to your child more often. Finding out how your child feels about things would help you find a way to deal with him or her. Having open communication with your child is therefore the best policy.

For more information on authoritarian parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com

2007-02-13T14:01:00.000-08:00

Attachment Parenting - A Special Way of Caring

Attachment parenting refers to a way of caring for infants which aims to provide the best for the baby as well as the parent. Early bonding between baby and parent leads to early attachment, as the weeks and months immediately following birth are a sensitive time when the parent naturally wishes to be close to the baby.

Once a close attachment is formed after birth, a natural and biological attachment promotes the behavior of the infant as well as the intuitive and biological caregiving qualities of the parent. They come together and result in lifelong bonding between parent and child.

A Few Aspects of Attachment Parenting

Another aspect of attachment parenting is breastfeeding; this helps the mother take cues from the baby and be able to recognize its body language, which is a prelude to getting to know the baby better. Breast milk is full of unique brain-building nutrients for which no man-made substitutes are available, and breastfeeding leads to better chemistry between mother and baby.

Attachment parenting also involves holding the baby in your arms which often leads to less fuss on the part of the infant as the baby stays in a state of quiet alertness. This is conducive to its learning more about the environment in which it lives. Babywearing causes the sensibility of the mother to improve and due to the fact that the baby is close to the mother, it helps in forming a better understanding as well as more familiarity with the infant.

At night, it is recommended to get the sleeping arrangement sorted out because co-sleeping promotes attachment parenting as well adds a nighttime touch that enables the mother to reconnect with the infant at night. Also, the baby is most scared at night and sleeping close to it within nursing distance greatly reduces nighttime separation anxiety and promotes restful sleep for the infant and also keeps the infant in a fearless state.

Responding with a great deal of sensitivity to the baby’s cry helps build trust and calms and reassures the baby that the mother is responsive to its needs. It tells the baby and the parents that slowly but surely, they will also come to learn to trust in their own ability to adequately meet their new found needs. With more parent-child communication, attachment parenting becomes more effective, especially as studies show that little babies cry to communicate, and not to manipulate.

Attachment parenting also teaches the mother to be discerning of the advice, especially those that are rigid as well as examples of extreme parenting styles. Such behavior is closer to convenience parenting and may cause short term gains, but in the long run, is more of a loss and not a wise investment to make. Finally, attachment parenting does not mean that the parent neglects his or her own needs as well as that of the marriage. A balance needs to be struck and it is essential for the parent to know when to say ‘yes’ and when to say ‘no’ to the child as well as being wise enough to say ‘yes’ to oneself, when in need of help.

For more information on attachment parenting, visit http://www.ParentingMonitor.com